No Fridge

- no fridge? whahahaha! I can’t believe you have no fridge!!!

- could you please just watch the road?

– damn I hate this rain, I had an umbrella, I think I lost it.

- the red umbrella you just had in your hand? no, you put it in the right bag…

– let me just…. [reaches backwards to fish for the umbrella]

- Look out!!!! please keep both hands on the handlebars…

– no fridge… phwah! I hate this rain, I wish I had an umbrella…

- I have to turn left here, but are you sure you are all right cycling home alone?

– yeah, yeah, yeah. I just… I hate this rain! I need an umbrella. and why don’t you have a fridge?

- please don’t get the umbrella, you are already completely soaked anyway, and with the umbrella you’ll only catch more wind. you already almost crashed into a car twice.

– all my friends think it’s weird that you have no fridge! and your hair looks weird too, if you’d only cut it more you could get tons of girls. do you want to kiss me?

- let me just ride home with you, make sure you are safe…

– you look stupid with that hair, now kiss me!

- ok, but I’m going to see you home, it’s only a small detour for me.

..

– this is where I live. who would have thought you’d be here tonight. with your hair. and you have no fridge!

- yeah, yeah, I know. it’s not that I have no fridge: I just don’t have it turned on, there is nothing I would put…

– look at my fridge! there is so much stuff in it…

- …in it. I’m a vegetarian so I hardly eat anything that could spoil.

– NO MEAT?!!!! ohhhhhhh, I loooooooove meat! hmmmm. a ham sandwich…

- well, I just…

– a bacon sandwich, a salami sandwich, sausages…

- …don’t like the idea of…

– oh, and steak! I love steak!

- …eating a corpse.

– or pasta. there’s no pasta without meat. my hair is all wet. I hate the rain. your hair is so weird. poowhaaa!! NO FRIDGE! whahaha! who would ever think you’d be here right now. let’s kiss.

30 minutes later I sneak out of the house. she collapsed into an alcohol induced half-coma on her bed after some failed attempt at making out. I leave her a note that, although I have never done something like this before, I just had to get up and leave in the middle of the night. the rain had died down and I just really couldn’t see how the situation of waking up there could turn out to be a good thing.
I cycle home thinking that it is funny how I could now check something off my bucket-list that I didn’t even know that it was on there: leaving a beautiful woman’s apartment in the middle of the night, leaving only a note.
as I get home, I put my wet clothes on the line, take a hot shower and make myself a nice cold glass of lemonade with cool, fresh water from the tap. who needs a fridge anyway?

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