Why I Still Can’t Watch ‘500 Days Of Summer’

(500) Days Of Summer, ever seen it? well, I met her once. my Summer.
three years ago.it was by chance, and I didn’t mean it to happen, but it did. I met this girl while travelling, and at first I just thought she was much like the characters that I liked that are usually played by Zooey Deschannel, and I always hoped that I would meet a girl like that. I spent a week with her as friends and really enjoyed that, but it was clear to me that there was something more. towards the end of the week we started cuddling and on the day that I left we kissed. just like that. as she walked away from the greyhound station where I was leaving from and I was looking at her through the window, I saw that she started crying and I thought that I had finally met her, my own little Zooey.the next weeks I was in a car, driving through the States continuing my road trip. me and “Summer” started texting and calling each other on the phone. the whole situation was kind of surreal because one of the films that I watched on my laptop that week was “The Go-Getter”. a road movie where the lead guy was on a road trip in a car that he had stolen from, yes: Zooey. on that road trip they were in contact with each other through phonecalls, and I started to think that the parallels were uncanny. when I was at a concert in california on full moon two weeks later I texted her to go outside and look at that same moon at the same time, only from miles and miles away, apart, but still connected by that.I had decided that I had to go back and stay with her longer to find out what we really had. the 3 weeks in the car seemed to last forever, and I had rebooked my flight back home because I decided to go be with her for a while. I did and it was wonderful. for a while. and maybe I should have seen the signs just like the guy in 500 Days Of Summer should have seen the signs.
the one that I did see, but tried to ignore was when we actually went to see ‘500 Days Of Summer’ together. she liked most films with Zooey and we both wanted to see it, it had just been released that month. during the film I got an eerie feeling, like I was (again) watching my own life. I looked at her and when she looked back at me I asked her: “you are my Summer, aren’t you?”. she didn’t answer me. kind of grinned at me uncomfortably and then continued watching the film.the rest of the time we spent together was great, although I didn’t understand how she wouldn’t hug in public, but was the sweetest thing when we were alone? or how her reaction was completely blank when I took her to dinner in a suit that I had bought in a thrift store that day especially for that (I don’t go on a road-trip carrying a suit), and more little things like that. I had walked around the city and learned to love it, and was slowly starting imagine myself moving there, and to my own surprise, didn’t even mind the thought of leaving Amsterdam at all. at that moment I was happy.when it was time to go home it all collapsed. she told me she didn’t believe in long distance relationships, but a week after I got home she told me that she was just still head over heals in love with her ex. she had just moved house so she had no daily internet yet, and when ever I had send her a little note, she couldn’t reply because she thought I expected epic love letters, which she had no time for to type in the internet cafe. three months later is escalated and we had to break off all contact (all still in line with the film).

we reconnected and I have met her a couple of times since, we hung out as friends, played a song together on an open mic night for ukuleles and last January she finally got involved with a new guy who lived only a medium long distance away. after 3 months she left the city she lived in to go live with him far away and they are very happy now (yes I know: in the film she ends up married, but I promise you: it kind of feels the same;)).

so here I am, in the present time. I am not bothered by the whole situation, because it all happened two years ago, but it makes for a good story and it is a great anecdote for me to be able to say that I am ready to meet my “Autumn” now :)

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